Children exposed to financial strain can develop manipulative tendencies

One of the most stressful things that can happen to a family is financial problems. However, how do children, especially teenagers, cope with their parents’ financial stress?

According to experts, children raised in financially stressed households can develop manipulative tendencies. And this can aggravate the family’s financial situation.

There are signs that households are under financial strain. Food prices are also rising rapidly, affecting their affordability. 

The South African Reserve Bank has hiked the repo rate 9 times since the end of 2021. Banks are starting to factor in the risks of some defaulting on their loans. 

However, due to peer pressure, parents with teenage children’s plight often falls on deaf ears.

Personal finance experts say it’s often difficult for teenagers to grasp the extent of their parents’ financial problems. 

Personal finance coach Nthabiseng Monoge says, “Generally, children live in their own world, they understand things from their own perspective and from their peers’ perspective. it is rare for a child to understand things from their parents’ perspective unless the parents have had a conversation with them.”

How do children, particularly teenagers, deal with their parent’s financial stress:

Willing to go to great lengths

What matters most to many teenagers is a sense of belonging among their peers. Fashion and the latest smartphone are frequently non-negotiables.

“You see your friends having this; you pressure your parents to buy what your friends have,” says one of the teenagers. 

Teenagers are willing to go to great lengths to obtain almost anything they desire from their unsuspecting parents.

Many of them say they use school to manipulate their parents into giving in to their demands, “We use school as an excuse, no parents will say no to education. If I say they need a school book for R200, my mom will buy it.” 

“Besides school, I also use my friends as an excuse; because my mom wants me to have things that she never had, she will do it,” says another teenager.

“We know that parents’ weakness is academic, so every time we want something expensive, I align it with my school.” 

Mothlakeng Community activist Angie Shelembe blames parents for making it easier for their children to manipulate them. “Imagine a child coming to you to say the school needs R1000, and I give it. I’m working with children under the influence; in most instances, when I interview parents, it takes them a long time to finally realize that the child is under the influence and all this time they have been feeding a demon.” 

Shelembe says many parents know very little about the character of their children on the streets. 

“As parents, you never dream of having anything different than an angel as a child. So wherever we see them we see angels, so it is hard for me to ever think that my child can be capable of doing anything wrong,” says Shelembe.

Some struggling parents often borrow from relatives and friends to satisfy their children’s endless demands. 

Experts say being a present parent can go a long way towards helping you avoid being manipulated by your children.